


Teenagers (They Scare Me)

by gyufan2303



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Cuddling, Getting Together, M/M, May be a little OOC, all the kurobas third years, being losers, but they're my losers, can u tell i love my ot3s, crackish, enjoying the lack of underclassmen, getting wasted together, i almost forgot to tag Mayuzumi, i don't know what boys do when they get together OTL, no kouhai allowed, spot the drake and josh reference, the Slash is minimal, the irony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 02:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3918844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyufan2303/pseuds/gyufan2303
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like the rest of them, Mayuzumi was so fucking relieved to have found a space away from all the underclassmen. Getting piss drunk every other week was a pretty great bonus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teenagers (They Scare Me)

**Author's Note:**

> so this is pretty crack but i do love the idea of all the third years getting together and partying and sharing horror stories about their teams XD also, captain love is so important, please join me in my quest to add more love between captains to the fandom.

It started after a practice game between Kaijou and Shuutoku. Kasamatsu and Ohtsubo were surrounded by fools, Moriyama and Miyaji were surrounded by soulless robots and Kimura and Kobori were surrounded by weirdoes – so of course the logical thing would be to mix everyone together to enhance the collective frustration (and the fun). They all headed to Ohtsubo’s place (since the lucky bastard lived alone) and got drunk off their asses, discussing annoying juniors, useless geniuses, how they fuck they’re supposed to balance basketball and grades, girls (and guys and others), NBA, all the best places to hang out in Tokyo, and everything else only third years can discuss with each other.

Everyone woke up with excruciating hangovers and exchanged cell phone numbers and promises to play honest games of three on three, without the interference of annoying specialists or prodigies. Kimura promised Kobori a ride in his fruit truck. Moriyama gave Miyaji tips on how to lob pineapples with frightening accuracy in even the most uncomfortable circumstances, and Kasamatsu and Ohtsubo set up study dates to ensure they both got good enough grades to get into the same university – they got along like a house on fire.

 

They got together biweekly for more basketball and drinking and it was great for a couple of months. Then, after a practice match between Kaijou and Touou, fucking Imayoshi found out.

“Kasamatsu-kun,” he cooed, sickeningly sweet and razor sharp as usual. “Where are you three off to in such a hurry?” He was thankfully shadowed by Susa who made Imayoshi slightly more bearable.

“Kasamatsu, let’s bring him, he probably knows some good drinking games,” Moriyama whispered, loudly enough for Imayoshi to hear.

“Shut the fuck up,” Kasamatsu snapped. “I’m not drinking alcohol with that snake in the room.”

“That wounds me, Yukio-chan. I don’t need to weasel information about your team out of you – Satsuki-chan does quite well without my help, as you learned today.” Kasamatsu just about burst a blood vessel at the nickname, not helped at all by Moriyama’s snickering. Kobori and Susa made pained faces at each other.

Kasamatsu wrenched his phone out of his pocket and dialled Ohtsubo’s number.

“It’s his place, ask him.”

Imayoshi obligingly took the phone.

“What’s up? We still on for tonight?”

“Ohtsubo-kun! Imayoshi and Susa here, from Touou. Mind if we crash your little shindig?”

“... I’m not sure I wanna be around you drunk.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Imayoshi whined. “I’m ruthless, not indecent and plenty fun to be around. Besides, I assure you, Susa will stop me from doing anything unsavoury.”

“Fine, but make sure you bring booze, we don’t have enough for eight.”

“Will do!” he replied cheerily. And that was that. Imayoshi and Susa accompanied Moriyama, Kasamatsu and Kobori to Ohtsubo’s house, after buying copious amounts of alcohol, where Ohtsubo, Miyaji, and Kimura were waiting for them. Together they all got super drunk, arm wrestled, gossiped, behaved like the complete slobs adolescent boys are, got yelled at by the neighbours for being too damn rowdy, mock wrestled in a couple of cases (that ended in puking), and generally had a really great time, away from the damn juniors they were forced to endure for the most enjoyable part of their high school life. Imayoshi did in fact know some very entertaining drinking games, as well as all the juiciest gossip in the men’s and women’s high school basketball scene. Imayoshi was also very adept at riling Kasamatsu up, much to everyone’s amusement, but all things considered, they got along well. Kimura had one more person to add to his ‘stoic and silent regulars only’ fruit truck road trip, Imayoshi agreed to join Kasamatsu and Ohtsubo’s study sessions (mostly in a tutoring capacity since he was obviously miles ahead) and their plan to go to the same university, and Miyaji and Moriyama continued discussing shooting techniques and idol girls and hair products.

 

The Touou third years became permanent additions to the meet ups, which started to include street games on the court near Ohtsubo’s apartment before everyone got piss drunk and could barely walk.

One such game of three on three was taking place when there was an intrusion on their increasingly sacred senior time.

“Hey geezers, let us play!” Aomine yelled, dragging Kagami with him onto the street court. Kasamatsu’s forehead twitched. Everyone recognised this as the signal for when Kasamatsu was about to take a swing at someone – they knew because he frequently tried to hit Imayoshi and Moriyama when they were teasing him but the alcohol in his bloodstream wouldn’t let him land any significant punches; an endearingly amusing ritual. However, right now, Kasamatsu was not drunk and he had adrenaline coursing through his veins.They had to get Aomine out of his immediate vicinity in case he got mauled.

“Aho, don’t just interrupt a game,” Kagami hissed, trying to drag him away. Bless the well-meaning clotpole – he was always perceptive when it counted. Aomine lacked any such common sense and shook him off, walking closer. Ohtsubo placed a firm hand on Kasamatsu’s shoulder, grounding him.

“Aomine,” Imayoshi said tersely. “This is my chance to play basketball without your shitty personality ruining the game for me. Get lost.”

“I don’t wanna hear I have a shitty personality from someone whose talent is literally their shitty personality.”

“Do you even know what ‘literally’ means,” Kagami muttered. Aomine glared at him.

“Either you get lost _right now_ or you wake up tomorrow _underwater_ ,” Imayoshi said. No one doubted his ability to pull off his threat. Kagami looked horrified and doubled his efforts to get Aomine the fuck away from the scary third years. Aomine looked like he wanted to argue but settled for glaring while Kagami dragged him off.

“That was fucking scary, Imayoshi,” said Miyaji, staring at him, awed and a little frightened but mostly impressed.

“I would not want to piss you off, off the court,” agreed Moriyama. Imayoshi gave them a serene smile.

“You lot ever need to put someone in their place, let me know.”

“That’ll come in handy for the next time Kise acts up,” Kasamatsu mused. Kobori smiled at him.

 

After grudgingly admitting that all three schools were only really connected by the fact that they all had miracle players, they decided it was only fair if Yosen were brought in on the fun too. Ohtsubo called Okamura during one of the Captain Study Sessions.

“Oi, Ohtsubo! If you want tips on how to be a decent centre, look elsewhere.” Okamura laughed at his own wittiness. Imayoshi cringed. Kasamatsu patted him on the shoulder. Ohtsubo rolled his eyes.

“Well, I was gonna invite you and Fukui for drinks at my place but if you’re so above me, I guess there’s no point.”

“Wait, WAIT, tell me more,” he predictably objected.

“This Saturday, my place. All the third years from Shuutoku, Kaijou, Touou are gonna be there. We’re gonna play some ball at the streetcourt first at around five, don’t be late you big lug.”

“We’ll be there!”

And that was that. Yosen was brought into the fold, after being very offended for five seconds that they were only being included after this had been going on for almost five months but then the three on three games started and it was such a relief to play without annoying underclassmen and a murderous coach that they figured better late than never. Everyone lost their shit over the seafood stew Fukui made them for dinner, so much better than their usual fare of pizza and ramen. Okamura was good enough company, full of amusing anecdotes and good natured ribbing, trading war stories of Murasakibara and Aomine with Imayoshi. Fukui fit right in with Moriyama and Miyaji, in their search for hot girls, immaculate hair, and teammates with a sense of humour. Kobori, Kimura, and Susa enjoyed each other’s mild mannered company, letting loose and acting a little silly after the booze started to really kick in. Moriyama forced everyone into some karaoke around midnight, which was by far the most amusing thing that had happened to any of them in months because they were all so goddamn awful.

In the morning, Kasamatsu and Imayoshi stayed behind to help Ohtsubo clean up, once everyone else had left. After scrubbing and vacuuming and dishwashing, they sat down on the couch together, exhausted. Ohtsubo put his arms around both men’s shoulders, holding them close.

“I think we should stop punishing everyone with sexual tension and just get this over with,” he said gravely. And then, without preamble, he kissed Imayoshi first (because despite all his arrogance, he knows Imayoshi’s still a bit unsure of whether they actually want him around or if they’re just humouring because he’s so conniving) and then turned and kissed Kasamatsu. After slipping him a little tongue, Ohtsubo sat back and hoped he hadn’t just destroyed their friendship.

After a minute of silence, Kasamatsu and Imayoshi moved in comic synchronisation and hungrily kissed each other over Ohtsubo’s lap. Eventally, they broke apart and started roughly divesting Ohtsubo of his clothing. Suffice to say, he had a hard time getting the smell of sex out of his apartment.

 

The third year gatherings carried on as usual, except for Imayoshi, Kasamatsu, and Ohtsubo trading kisses when no one else was looking, and then hooking up the morning after. Moriyama and Miyaji made sure to tease them mercilessly the first couple of times.

(Kasamatsu made sure there was still more studying going on during their Captain Study Sessions than sex – barely.)

Unfortunately, these four schools weren’t the only ones with Miracles in them.

“ _Imayoshi-san! Apparently the captains of the schools with the Generation of Miracles regularly get together for social outings. Why was I not invited! Are you guys bitter that I beat you in the Winter Cup?”_

_“Hardly, Hyuuga-kun. These drinking parties are a place for only THIRD years to enjoy each other’s very mature and pleasant company. You are still a second year and therefore not eligible. Throw your own party if you feel so offended. Good day!”_

_“Hey, wait a minute –”_

_“I said good day!~~”_

Imayoshi hung up and kissed Ohtsubo’s shoulder. He was currently hugging him from behind on the couch, arms snug around his shoulders and occasionally nuzzling his neck. Kasamatsu was hugging his front, head on Ohtsubo’s chest and arms around his waist, sometimes poking Imayoshi in the bellybutton or nipping his fingers. Ohtsubo had one hand in Kasamatsu’s hair and the other holding his phone from where he was on the line with Akashi Seijurou.

_“I am very offended that I was not invited to a gathering of the captains of the best schools in Japan. I expect to be included in future social events of the nature.”_

_“No can do, kid. This isn’t a captain thing. My parties are third years only. Gotta keep things pure.”_

_“You do not want to continue offending me.”_

_“Look, if Hyuuga doesn’t get an invite despite being a second year, you definitely don’t as a first year. This isn’t about skill or any elitist shit like that. It’s just a time that third years can hang out without getting pissed off by annoying underclassmen.”_

_“Then I expect you to invite Mayuzumi. Just because his purpose is to be overlooked does not mean I will allow others to overlook him off the court.”_

_“... Fair enough. Tell him to show up next Saturday. I’ll send you the details.”_

“You guys had it so easy. I had to threaten Kise with a thousand suicides to stop him from coming.”

 

Mayuzumi was a little unpleasant, especially when people kept bumping into him when they were drunk, but he had the most entertaining horror stories of all – he opened up a lot after getting tipsy enough, finally getting the courage to interact rather than spend the whole evening tucked into a corner with a light novel. Fukui especially appreciated his scathing sense of humour and trash talking abilities, as well as his abhorrence for overenthusiastic pretty boys. Most importantly, Mayuzumi had a completely accepting attitude to Imayoshi, Kasamatsu, and Ohtsubo’s relationship – apparently the Rakuzan Generals had a similar arrangement. He just watched curiously when Kasamatsu kissed them in the kitchen, before they noticed he was there. When Imayoshi turned a piercing gaze on him, that would’ve eviscerated Sakurai on the spot, he gave a knowing nod and began drunken rambling about his teammates and how loud they could be in the locker rooms. The captains all laughed.

Like the rest of them, Mayuzumi was so fucking relieved to have found a space away from all the underclassmen. Getting piss drunk every other week was a pretty great bonus.

 

**Author's Note:**

> completely unbeta'd or proofread so please point out mistakes to me, especially with tenses. Concrit appreciated! please come talk to me arrow-in-your-butt.tumblr.com i love talking about basketball fools and volleyball fools and cycling fools and swimming fools ^^


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